Have you ever heard anyone call their spouse “my better half”? There is a religious reason for that term. In Judaism, the belief is a soul is created by God and then cut in half and sent to earth. Two halves that must find each other and come together to create a whole. Our mission on earth is to meet and marry our basherte, our other (and hopefully better) half.
Consider Joseph. Joseph is betrothed to a young woman named Mary. They do not know each other well, the promise of marriage was arranged between their two families. She is a clear-eyed girl with a pure heart and Joseph loves her.
Joseph is convinced Mary is his basherte, which means “destined one”.
Now Joseph prepares for their wedding day, dreaming of the home they will live in, the children they will have, and thinking of their future family. He knows it is not good for man to be alone and is ready for their new life together.
Out of the blue his world comes crashing down.
He learns Mary, his betrothed, is with child.
From the moment he heard, he found it hard to even breathe. In agony, Joseph slipped off by himself to think and to pray. How, how could this be? Joseph had never spent even one minute alone with Mary. She was loved and protected by her family.
Completely broken, he wept. And wept. He was not the father of this baby.
And according to the law, it was now impossible for Mary to be his wife.
There was no good answer to this unthinkable situation.
The Bible does not say how Joseph learned Mary was expecting a child, but it was shocking and devastating news for Joseph. Mary was a pure and innocent girl, well protected by her family. Joseph knew he was not the father. Should the truth be revealed, the law was extremely harsh in this situation. Mary’s life was in danger because her child was conceived outside of marriage.
Joseph faced the harsh reality alone. Under the law, he could not marry someone who was guilty of adultery. God would not bless the marriage according to the rules of his faith. If he exposes Mary as a sinner, she would be condemned to death by stoning – unthinkable. Joseph considers dismissing her quietly and setting her aside. This suggests he might divorce her and send her to another part of the country where she was not known and perhaps she could pass herself off as a young widow. Left to fend for herself and her child, she would be forced to beg in order to survive. It would be another kind of death, a slow and painful one.
Ultimately, there was no acceptable solution to the dilemma he faced.
Later that night, Joseph pondered every choice he could make.
Publically accusing Mary of doing something wrong would condemn her to death.
He could not bear the thought and cast it aside.
Marrying her would also break the law, and although he loved her, they could not have a marriage that was dishonorable.
The only other solution would be to send her off to another part of the country where she was a stranger. All alone, she could have her child there.
He did not know what to do.
Joseph turned his thoughts over and over deep into the night. Exhausted, he finally fell asleep.
In the dark hours before morning, an angel appeared in his dreams. Looking at him with a tender face, the angel said,
“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary for your wife. The child she has conceived is by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son whom you shall name Jesus, for He will save people from their sins.”
Joseph awoke, amazed by his dream. He considered everything the angel said.
Knowing the stories of his namesake, Joseph wondered if God was speaking to him through a dream, just as God spoke to the Joseph who lived long ago? He remembered the promise of a Savior, a baby to be born of a virgin. Was Mary the young woman scripture spoke of? Joseph knew the stories of so many miracles. Could this be one too?
He felt hope slowly building from the words of the angel, as he prayed for God’s help.
Peace came over him when Joseph finally said Yes. Yes to God, Yes to Mary and Yes to becoming the father of this unborn baby.
Text and illustrations from Joseph’s Heart: A Story of Adoption by Mary Clare Evans.
Wow! Beautifully written. I never though of Mary as Joseph bashrete! Completely puts a different perspective on the situation.
Beautiful! I’ve always wondered how Joseph felt knowing who Mary was etc. I didn’t know that religious definition of “my better half.” I like it!