No doubt you live in a wonderful state where people are kind and lovely. Your fellow citizens are good, decent people, always willing to lend a hand. You are proud of the place you call home. However, at the risk of sounding boastful, I must tell you when it comes to being nice: There is no place quite like Iowa. Nice is a religion in the Hawkeye state, a total way of life. Rudeness, nastiness, even overt impatience are met with puzzlement and blank stares by the people who live there.
It just simply isn’t done.
A reporter from Time magazine once wrote: “In Iowa, you would be more easily forgiven for committing murder than to be rude to someone”. Iowans sincerely believe you must be nice, all the time, every day, no matter what.
When the young Iowan at the drive through takes your order and gives you a hot cup of coffee, she not only smiles and says, “I hope you have a nice day!” but she does it in a way you believe she IS totally concerned you that actually will and is positively agonizing that you might not. When the plumber comes to fix your frozen Midwestern pipes, your spouse doesn’t ask “Is the leak fixed?” or “How much did he charge you?” No, the first thing an Iowan says is “Oh how lovely, the plumber was here! Was he nice?” Which of course, is a silly question. Of course he was nice! This is Iowa.
One wintery day I was driving across the Hawkeye State to visit my grandmother. A tire on my car suddenly blew out on a remote county road. In only a matter of minutes, two young men wearing high school letter jackets pulled up and offered to change my tire. I expressed worry about their pristine leather coats, all covered with sports awards and medals, but they insisted and started pulling off the damaged tire. Before I could get cold, a kind couple pulled up and offered their warm car as a place to sit while I waited. Offering to pay the boys for the time they spent freezing in the snow, they were slightly horrified at the suggestion and politely declined. “Ma’am, it was our pleasure.” They recommended I stop at the service station up the road and buy a used tire at an excellent price ($10) to have as a new spare. When I did so, the gentleman mounted one for me right away so I could get down the road to my worried grandmother. Goodness, it wouldn’t be nice to keep the dear lady waiting.
This grandmother was actually the Epitomy of Iowa Nice. I once witnessed her befriend the air conditioner repair man, feed him lunch, send his wife a piece of pie (with the recipe) AND sew on his loose button which had fallen off his uniform shirt. She was also extremely modest. If you complimented her cooking, say, some melt-in-your-mouth biscuits, she would demure and reply, “Oh they’re alright, I suppose. Mostly as good as common”.
Bragging, drawing attention to yourself, showing off… these are also Iowa No-Nos. It’s not nice to have a big head if you live in Iowa.
With the Religion of Nice also comes the quality of friendliness. Iowans make friends immediately. My non-Iowa children declare: 1) I could carry on a conversation with anyone, including a fire hydrant, and 2) everyone new we meet, they are sure I went to high school with. (Unlikely, since we live 700 miles from my hometown). Within 5 minutes, Iowans know your name, the other members of your family, your occupation, college allegiance, the dog’s name and your favorite type of tomato. (A whole other kind of Iowa Religion).
Now if the unthinkable were to happen, if someone was actually rude to you in Iowa, well, the only possible explanation I can think of is they must be from out of state. And it wouldn’t be kind of me to point out which one.
So please let me know about where you live and what sorts of things people do for each other there. Convince me your state is nice. I will listen and enjoy your stories and nod and smile.
But never disagree. Goodness, no. Because to do so wouldn’t be….nice.
(Click on the Iowa Nice necklace to order)
What a great post! It makes me want to visit Iowa! I am from WA state, where we could seriously use a little schooling from some folks from your area! I live in a small town, so we do have some of that – but we are lacking on the help your neighbors, connectedness that it sounds like your State has in abundance!
Karrilee, There are extremely nice people in every state, I am mostly being tongue in cheek. But we can all do better in the looking out for our fellow human beings department. Hope you do get to Iowa some day.
This post made me smoke since I went to seminary in Iowa. I also think you could say this in Minnesota and/or North Dakota too!
Silly autocorrect—-smile not smoke!! :p
All Midwestern culture is centered on being nice, we are awesome at it! (I live in Ohio now.) Glad I could make you smile. Thanks for stopping by.
Your post immediately reminded me of a minor character from one of my beloved books… the Niceness Fairy, who did, in fact, practice the Religion of Niceness (although sometimes it came with a little sarcastic passive aggressiveness, I think).
I live in New England, which has a reputation for being assuredly Not Nice. But as a Montanan who transplanted here, I’ve found it to be an area that’s just misunderstood. New Englanders are nice, but initially just reserved. Maybe it comes from the Puritan roots of the area, maybe it comes from watching the British destroy their homes… I don’t know. But I have found that once they see the genuine “you” and get a sense of where and how you stand, they’re the warmest, most dependable and reliable friends on earth.
Happy Friday to you!
Wow, a Niceness Fairy! What book is she in? I think I need to read it. Please know I was being a bit tongue in cheek about Iowa. Of course, there are kind people everywhere. Thank goodness, because we all need to look out for each other! I’m happy to hear you are loving the people of New England. They are lucky to have you there.
I’ve driven through Iowa but have not spent time there. But, now I want to because it sounds so…ah…nice!!!
Susan, I hope you do. But of course I am being mostly tongue in cheek about Iowa. We all need to look out for each other, no matter what state we live in.
I live right outside of Iowa, and Dubuque is our closest big city. You are so right, people are incredibly nice there…super helpful when I’m with my little girls. Once I was at a grocery store and my littlest was melting down. This sweet woman walked past, smiled kindly and said, “Children are a blessing from the Lord, even when they’re having a hard time.” Such an encouragement to an overwhelmed mommy!
But, you’re right, the midwest in general is full of super nice people!
Hi Becky, what a beautiful example you wrote of kindness and encouragement! (What is it about grocery stores anyway? All kids seem to melt down there). I may borrow that kind lady’s words someday. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate your comment.
This made me laugh! I’ve only driven through Iowa late at night, so I have no idea if ya’ll are as nice as you sound ;). In Arizona, the most un-nice people are the ones who collect the fines for camera traffic tickets. No mercy, just a greedy glint in their eyes as the millions roll in from their podunk town traffic fine racket ;). Um, but that’s not nice to tell, is it? Maybe I should say, “The nice folks in small towns will gladly fine you big bucks for going a teensy bit over the speed limit late at night in their sleeping town with one street and one warning sign.” ;). There, was that better?
Hi Anita, I think all little towns prey on those of us with lead feet to fill the empty coffers. We lived in Arizona for several years and I loved it. Everyone I met though, was from somewhere else. Go visit Iowa sometime during the day and let me know what you think.
Well, I love being a Louisiana girl, but I might just have to put a little Iowa into practice in my life!
Well, of course you do, because Louisiana is awesome!
So beautiful and don’t get me started on the amazing food. All of us, no matter where we live, could work harder at kindness.Thanks for stopping by today.